There was a column in last Friday's Wall Street Journal titled "What a Mom Wants." Since it appeared in the paper the Friday before Mother's Day, I thought that the author was going talk about the impact of the recession on Mother's Day gifts. I expected to read that there are a lot of mothers out there like me who only want a card-and someone to empty the dishwasher without having to be asked. Since I'm the one who pays the bills in our house, last thing I want to see is on next month's MasterCard bill is a charge for a diamond necklace.

However, the author Megan Basham tackled a much bigger issue than whether the bar for Mother's Day gifts has been lowered this year. Her point is that what a mom wants is a husband who "is more interested in bringing home the bacon than cooking it." Women want to retain their roles and responsibilities as moms and they want men to be the primary wage earners.

However, the recession has caused a role reversal. Because the "male-dominated industries like finance, construction and manufacturing have been the hardest hit by the economic meltdown, men have experienced nearly 80% of the layoffs of the current recession." So with dads out of work, many stay-at-home moms are re-entering the workforce or working longer hours to compensate for their spouse's lack of income.

Ms. Basham goes onto describe how the media, the White House and many think tanks believe that the "increasing numbers of mothers putting in more hours in paid work represents progress for women." They see this as a very positive byproduct of the recession that could actually level the playing field between men and women in the workforce.

The problem is, as Ms. Basham points out, that while these organizations are cheering the changes in the economy that are sending more moms into the workforce, research shows that women are actually unhappy about these changes, and some are even resentful that their husbands have usurped their roles. And just because the fathers are now wearing the apron and scheduling play dates, it doesn't mean that Moms want to take over their husband's role as the primary breadwinner; "most see themselves as a mother first and earner second."

She makes a statement that I'm sure will fill her inbox with angry emails from feminists: "Virtually every reputable poll taken on mothers and work reveals that a strong majority of moms prefer to work part time for fewer hours." She quotes a Pew Research Center survey that found "only 21% of women with children under the age of 18 say that full-time employment is the ideal situation for them. The rest prefer either part-time work or not working at all. In contrast, fully 72% of fathers say a full-time job is the best option for them."

Amazing. It sounds like we really want very traditional roles. There's certainly some room for sharing responsibilities but at root women believe that dad should go to work and it's mom who takes care of the kids.

It was certainly interesting for me to read about what she described in the article because in some ways it reflects my situation and values. We have our own business so Steve can't be laid-off, but the recession has meant a reduction in our income which prompted me to take on a part-time job at another company while Steve holds down the fort in our home-based business. It was strange for me to be the one walking through the door and saying, "Honey, I'm home." Steve has hardly become a "Mr. Mom" - by far he earns the majority of the income and I still handle the majority of the domestic chores - but he has taken on added responsibilities for driving and keeping up with our daughters' schedules.

I expect that even as the economy turns around I will continue to work part-time; it's refreshing and challenging to be exposed to a different work environment. And I'm not so protective of my mom duties that I don't appreciate some help when it comes to throwing in a load of laundry. But do I long to work full-time? Nope, not if it means giving up my mom mantle. So I plan to keep celebrating Mother's Day and leave Father's Day for Steve.